


"I won't say I'm in love."

by FanFiction_Artist_Prototype



Category: Starfighter (Comic)
Genre: Cain attempts to sort out his feelings, Domestic-ish fluff?, Fluff, Late night thoughts, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-04 17:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15151883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFiction_Artist_Prototype/pseuds/FanFiction_Artist_Prototype
Summary: It's late at night and as Abel sleeps besides him, Cain only has one thing on his mind: Love





	"I won't say I'm in love."

_'Love'_

It was a new emotion to him, or atleast this type of love. He loved his mother, he loved his sister and he could admit after much persuasion and the swallowing of his pride that he loved his brother-in-law. After all he helped them out so many times it really was like having an older brother. But he hadn't experienced this type of love before. It was different, it was new and it was dangerous. This was a forbidden type of love - a love that he had never planned on allowing to exist; or atleast for him.

Cain was never supposed to fall in love, that wasn't his part of the arrangement. He didn't want to get attached, he wanted to go home. He wanted to have his mothers arms wrapped around him once again, not lose his heart to some - some... No. He wouldn't finish that thought, he knew it wasn't true and never mind that he couldn't bring himself to even think it anyway.

"Cute..."

His fingers drifted through the pale blond hair, the action repetitive - but not annoying, if anything, it was calming to him. Abel's head rested on his chest in his arms as he lay on his back on their bed, head pressed into the thin and practically useless pillow. He closed his eyes for a few seconds as he focused on the hum of the ship and the drum of footsteps on the floor above them. The random and unpredictable intervals between the noise proving how sporadic the changing of shifts really were. Abel stirred slightly in his arms, causing him to still, but, when he did nothing more than nuzzle more into his bare chest before going back to sleep, Cain allowed himself to relax once again.

The Navigator was just so different to anything he'd ever experienced. Looking down at him, he felt that familiar pang in his chest when he saw the scar on his lip, whether it was guilt, lust or some sort of possessive feeling that seeped through him every time he properly focused on it he wasn't sure- whatever it was though it would only be expressed in this room, this shitty little room where they didn't even have a real bed, just their mattresses on the floor pressed together. Though, that was his doing he had to admit.

Leaving one hand running through the soft locks on his head, Cain allowed his other hand to innocently drift down Abel's body, no ill or lustful intent with it. It was so rare that he could touch him as he pleased without being hidden from everybody and when they did they were both so touch starved that it turned into sex far quicker than Cain ever thought possible - and quicker than he would like, not that he’d admit that. A shiver ran through him thinking of earlier on in the night and what they had gotten up to. A pang of what he knew to be guilt surged through him now, he didn't even offer to help Abel out in the shower afterwards. Shit, he always forgot that. He was just so used to giving it and then the person was gone that he had never payed any mind to the fact that the person receiving had to clean up afterwards and he so rarely bottomed the thought didn’t come to mind. Running his free hand down the smaller males back he froze when the sleeping body tensed under his touch as his hand rested on the small of his back and a pained hiss left Abel's lips.

Christ, he hadn't even checked if he hurt him, the stupid navigator! He told him that if he hurt him to tell... FUCK! He never got round to finishing the fucking sentence! No wonder the blond had been so tense and hobbling when he walked to the bathroom. He took note of the bruises littering his navigators neck and then his eyes went back up to the scar on his lip.

Cain sighed, slamming his head back into the pillow.

What the fuck was he even doing? He wasn't supposed to care, his job was to make Abel care about him, even if it meant breaking him down and rebuilding him from nothing. That's what he had been told before he became Cain, that's what Alexie had agreed to and it was what Cain had set out to do. He wasn't supposed to grow attached, he was just supposed to enjoy whatever happened between meeting Abel and making him the prodigal navigator.

He needed a smoke.

Except, he couldn't bring himself to move, he couldn't bring himself to wake the sleeping man.  Closing his eyes again he let himself relax, trying to ignore the fact that he had developed feelings for the smaller, thinner, weaker male. The exact opposite of what he was, everything he had been raised to hate was sleeping in his arms. A rich boy from Earth who should be living it up in a mansion with girls and guys swooning for him. And who was he? A kid from the frontier as the other soldiers called, a guy with scars and an attitude that matched his record. They shouldn't even of been a half decent match, yet here he was thinking of how much he cared for his opposite.

"Damn bastard, what are you doing to me?"

He pressed a gentle kiss to Abel's head, wanting nothing more than to ravage the Male and make him feel on top of the world. He knew, knew fullwell that he was in love. He just didn’t want to admit it.

Sighing and closing his eyes he let himself rest, he could sort this out in the morning. They both could.

* * *

 

”Cain... Cain we have to get up soon...” 

Stirring he was quick to notice how pained Abel looked leaning over him and quickly wrapped his arms around the sore Male, bringing his body softly down to be flush with his. 

“I’ll clean you up and then we’ll worry about doing anything important...” Abel’s face lights up with confusion. And Cain knows that the tiny smile that leaves his face is done in worry. He has never been this kind or gentle with Abel before and now it’s coming back to bite him in the ass.

”Cain...?”

He allows himself to indulge in this gentle and cozy atmosphere, just this once. Leaning over, he nuzzles into the top of his navigators head, placing a soft kiss to the soft and somewhat fluffy hair. Sighing, his head drops back and he shifts slightly, trying to raise both him and Abel without hurting the smaller one.

”What are you doing? Cain, what’s- ow!” He stops almost immediately, accidentally allowing a sneer to reach his face.

”I’m trying to be gentle for once, just fucking let me. Now stop being awkward and let me get you up without hurting you.” It would be funny how quickly Abel’s face changes, if the situation was different. But it’s just... upsetting? That’s the only way Cain can think to describe it.

Finally he gets the two of them stood up, and keeping an arm around Abel’s waist walks the two to the bathroom, stopping occasionally when it looked like Abel was hurt.

”What’s making you do this? Have the other fighters said something or-“

Unlike other times where he would shut Abel up with a kiss, this one is gentle. He’s not pushing him against the shower wall and ravaging his mouth. He’s gripping one of Abel’s hands as the other is tangled in his hair softly as their lips brush against each other. Slowly pulling back and leaning their foreheads together Cain feels his shoulders drop slightly as he looks into his navigators doe eyes.

Jesus fucking Christ was he messed up. What the hell was he doing? Abel wasn’t his fucking mission anymore, he was a disgusting piece of work to even think of him as a mission in the first place.

Leaning in one last time he makes it loving and passionate before pulling away, refusing to make eye contact, “Just felt like it, thought I should be nicer, too many days of you limping and the bastards will figure out I’m fucking you.”

Its crude, and makes Abel cringe but it does the trick. He turns away from the blond  focusing on the water running down his body and flinches when he feels the soft hands, hands that had clearly never seen a day of meaneal labour, start to rub body wash into his shoulders. He lets out a small smile, keeping his head down.

He won’t let Abel see it, he can’t let him see it.

After all, if he opened himself up to his partner like that he’d have to be more honest with himself and he knows for a fact he could never admit to the fact that he was in love.

 Not to himself, and defiantly not to the amazing, smart and (perhaps) slightly crazy male behind him.


End file.
